In the rush of enthusiasm I had last week when signing up with "facebook", I disclosed some personal information to someone with whom I attended high school and now she is lecturing me in regard to things with which she has no business! I let slip that I was taking medication for depression and insomnia and she trotted out the old "if you exercised regularly you wouldn't have any need for nasty prescription medication!" line. I was not good friends with this person in high school. In fact, I barely knew her and maybe had one conversation with her the entire three years I went to that school. Not only should I not be telling her everything in my life, I'm wondering why I even reconnected with her. Well, I reconnected with her because one of her pictures on her facebook profile was intriguing. She looked "dykey" and I wondered if she was a lesbian. I had wondered that in high school, as well. I think she is because she mentions a woman in her emails to me and I've seen pictures of her and this woman that make me suspect they are more than friends.
Why do I think that just because someone is gay/lesbian I would be instant pals with them? This person never even mentions these words and I'm wondering if she's more or less in the closet? That might be from necessity as she does live in a part of West Virginia that isn't exactly a hotbed of liberal thought! So, perhaps she can't really say anything for fear of losing her job or something. I've been there and can completely understand.
Anyway, aside from all that, I wish I hadn't been so quick to divulge a lot of the things about my life. I'm so tired of people judging me for the choices I make concerning my health. Somebody always thinks that they know better than I what is best for me! You don't like doctors? Fine! Avoid going to any doctor. My mother did that and she wound up dead at age fifty-six from lung cancer. Think taking prescription medication is wrong or a sign of failure? Fine! Avoid taking any diabetes medications and let's see how long you last! I'm a diabetic and I watch what I eat, exercise, and check my blood sugar twice a day. I also take medications and visit my doctors regularly. I also suffer from a variety of other things. Exercise helps a lot but when one is in so much pain that exercise is too much, then what? Dear Tom Cruise, I know medications are evil but what can I do?! I'm sure this woman meant well but I'm rather hacked off and am venting my spleen here instead of telling her. Truth be told, I don't have much in common with her. We are both women. We both went to the same high school in Virginia. Both of us might be lesbians, but one of us definitely is. Big deal.
I tried to reconnect with another person from this same high school. Someone who was actually my friend back then. I helped him "come out" after he graduated high school. Unfortunately, he is the same as he was in high school: Completely into himself. I tried, vainly, to get him interested in my life but he was only interested in talking about himself, his man, his wonderful family, his job, etc. He was rather arrogant and self-absorbed in high school and apparently never grew out of that. I was saddened but I let him go. This woman, on the other hand, was someone I passed in the hallways and saw in my math class. We had one conversation about college and that was the extent of our contact. I wish I hadn't re-established contact with her. There's nothing to say to her, really. We don't even have other friends in common. I don't want to just ignore her but I don't know how to say what I've said here. Damn.
Me and my big mouth!
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